Why Should I date him? Seven worthwhile reasons for dating.

 

I started dating him when I was 17. we have been together for 3 years, but I can't find anything interesting or profitable from this relationship, said Mary. I dated her for 4 years and she never asked about our marriage? She is thoughtless and I found that hard for our relationship to continue, said Kenny. He used my love and sincerity to hurt me. I shouldn't have dated him in the first place. I thought I was too young for dating, and surprisingly I'm not learning anything constructive from this, said Natie.

In the beginning of  pubescence 64% of guys fall in love tho' 86% of them fancy to gain a legacy of dating cute girls in high school. 59.6% teengirls fall in love tho' 78%  worldwide girls wish to hang out with hot guys in their schools or neighbourhood. This was shown in statistics on high school about teens and relationships conducted by stageoflife.com in April 2014.

You may not be familiar with word dating. According to urban dictionary dating is where two people who are attracted to each other spend time together to see if they can stand to be around one another most of the time, and if this turn to be successful they decide to develop a relationship. whereas UK  English dictionary defines dating as a form of romantic relationships in human whereby two people meet socially with the aim of assessing the other's suitability as partner in an intimate relationship.

 

Dating is an a stage of amorous connection which renders skills and good experiences that enhances couples to decide their marriage. It's where we develop our communication and relationships skills in an opposite sex. Dating phase can also be an outbreak for different bad experiences like heartbreaks, deceptions  and sometimes unpleasant outcomes when it's not done poorly. 

Back on mary, Kenny and natie's relashionship experiences, many people inculpate dating for their encountered problems during dating, but I want to let you know that dating isn't the root for those problems we came across with. Its either you or your partner's immaturity, dependency, self gratification, addictive romance or lack of relationship skills that made you experience those heartbreaks, Pain, mistrust and insecurity.Dating is good experience when it's done in a way it should. Let's look about 7 benefits we attain from dating either for mature  young adults or older adults basing on what's written  by Cloud Henry &Townsend John in a book they called Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships.

1. Dating gives people the opportunity to learn about themselves, others, and relationships in a risk-free environment. When done properly, dating is an incubator time of discovering the opposite sex, one’s own sexual feelings, moral limits, one’sneed for relationship skills, and one’s tastes in people. But dating must be done in the "proper context." A single person must date within a community of people who care about him or her. For teens, this context is their parents, friends, youth group,youth pastor,and  coaches. Dating gives people a place to grow and learn in the safety of people who can help them develop.

2. Dating provides a surrounding to work through issues. If you try to ask some happily married people how they would have fared if they had married their first boyfriend or girlfriend, you can be astounded by thier responses. According to different  researches ,People’s first choices of who they are attracted to may not be so great. Dating offers people a place to find out that what they think they value in a person might not be what they long in lifetime marriage. They may find that what they are attracted to is fleeting and can even be destructive. Sometimes we found out that what looked so good in a casual relationship did not seem reasonable or true in a closer relationship over time. Lots of people look good until they found what they really expect in relationship time after time.

3. Dating succour in building  relationship skills. Intimate relationships take a lot of work and a lot of skills. Many people do not come to the table of adulthood having learned these relationship skills in their families or other places. But, when they begin dating, they find out that they possess some serious insecurities, or they lack certain relationship skills, such as communication, vulnerability, trust, assertiveness, honesty, self-sacrifice, and listening. In their dating relationships they become aware of their immaturity and are able to find out what they need to work on before they are ready for a significant relationship. In addition, dating gives a person the opportunity to learn about relationship itself and how they function in a relationship. It can be an enormous time of growth and discovery.

4. Dating can heal and repair. I talked to my friend simon and I was astounded by his past experience in relationship and how his girlfriend helped him heal and nurtures from his past heartbreaks and hurts. He was greatful that she assisted him in becoming the man he was always dreamed to be. Although dating shouldn't be the primary place that some-one seeks healing, but it's a place where good things happen in people’s souls. People benefit from good relationships and can be the place to learn, heal, grow, and feel stretched, even if the relationship does not lead to marriage. It has value in a person’s life.

5. Dating is relational and has value in and of itself. In dating some people may seek their own gratification, While others certainly use their partners selfishly in the dating realm. Dating can be good when its done in a way of helping one's to grow, and should be benefited by both partners in relationship. It is about getting to know someone, spending time with him, and sharing things which is "intimacy."it is by receiving and giving love and respect to the one you are with in relationship. Although here I can say that its better if you restrain from sexual union as you are in dating and not yet in marriage to avoid unnecessary soul ties which can be hard to break once you marry someone else. When two singles love each other, give to each other, and share something in life, although the relationship has limits of both body and heart, it has value as well.

6. Dating lets someone learn what he or she likes in the opposite sex. Everyone has different taste when it comes to relationship. May be what you like isn't what everyone else wishes to see and have in his/her partner. We all have some ideals and some natural attractions. Some of those may be good, and some may be rooted in sickness and not everyone knows what kin of  people he likes and what are good for him. What is it like to spend a lot of time with a driver personality? For some it is heaven, for others, hell. What is it like to be around an intellectual person day after day? For some, it may be very stimulating. For others, very dry and boring. What we sometimes think we like is not what would really be good for us in long term, but we have to find this out. Dating gives people a context to meet and spend time with a wide variety of people. They can find out what they like, what they need, and what is good for them.

7. Dating gives a context to learn sexual self-control and other delay of gratification.Good dating allows people the opportunity to have a relationship and forgo sex. This delaying of gratification teaches something very valuable for marriage relationship and educate us that doing the best for the other person is more important than self-gratification and sexual expression. Some married couples do not know how to relate, and one or both use sex to substitute for relationship. Dating done correctly teaches self-control and delay of gratification.Both of those are prerequisites for any marriage to work. Dating can be done poorly and can lead to hurt and pain. Dating can be done well and can lead to wonderful fruits in the life of the teen and the adult single.

In closing ,dating has become a pin point issue discussed differently by  many people  starting from 20th century. It's better if we try to read and learn how to make our dating days magnificent from trusted sources . More readings about dating and healthy relationships you can find those books for  your assistance. 

*The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, by Eli J. Finkel

* Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski

*The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

*Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Sue Johnson

*The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary Chapman

*Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships, by Cloud Henry &Townsend John